What if?

What is everything happens for a reason? What if you are to scared to make a move that you lose a life opportunity? What if everything falls into place? What if what you really want, isn't what you really need? What if?
Isn't that always the question? When something happens, there always is a "what if" created. What if you had everything you needed right in front of you, but you were too scared to take it? Would you lose it? Would it wait forever for you to open your eyes & realize? Probably not. What makes us doubt things so much? What creates that little terrified voice in our heads that doesn't allow us to open up, but will allow us to regret?
I cannot point the finger to anyone on this topic, as I am a person who would rather keep a 30ft concrete wall up to stay safe, rather than giving the slightest chance to let anyone in so I could risk the pain. But what creates this fear? It is far more than emotions, it is more than the past haunting us.... but what is it?
Will this ruin line & several other lives? How many times can you look back to a time or situation and realize that it could have changed things enough to where you dream to have that moment back? Would you change things?
Instead of pushing someone away or telling them goodbye, would you hold on to them & not let go? Would you fight to prove your innocence? Fight to prove your feelings?
Better yet, if I got to go back to a moment, would I change how I handled situations? Would I be as strong as I am now, compared to how weak & scared I was before? Would I get away when I had the chance? What if a moment could be chosen to start over? Would you change anything?
The "what if's" tend to run our lives some days. Today is mine.