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Saturday, August 20, 2011

23

So, here I am, 2 weeks after my 23rd birthday and of course over analyzing life again.
A song I listened to when I was a teenager was "what's my age again?" By blink 182. The song I can still sing word for word to this day, but it carries on how nobody likes you when you're 23... worrisome?  I think so!
A few days prior to my birthday things started to go downhill quickly. I had friends leave, and one friend bailed on me at last minute... started feeling like the song was true after all.
My big day was saved when my best friend April came to my rescue and got me out of state for the day. We had so much fun That I even forgot the names of those who had disappointed me. (Thank you April!)
Besides the things I physically did for my birthday,  I couldn't help but to analyze my life to this point. When you ask some of my friends about me, they can brag me up to look like a saint, however I don't feel the same, flattered but not the same. I guess that no one really pictures their life at 23 to be like this, with a mortgage,  no degree yet, and raising a 5 year old on your own... well at least that's not what I had planned.
So once again I come up with the questions, have I failed myself? Do I still have hope? Why does it feel like I'm always running a million miles per hour and going nowhere?
Most of my friends are much older then me and I know I subconsciously compare myself to them, but I did have some good advice for my depressing day: "look at how you're doing compared to people the same age as you..." that was Amazing advice that I did need which was followed by a remark questioning if people older then me look back and compare themselves to me when they were my age as much as I compare my life to theirs now? Now That is food for thought!
So, after all the babbling,  I am another year older and hopefully a little wiser. And the best advice about my life is "life happens!"