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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

A dose of reality

So I had a good friend of mine say something That was horrible to hear, but the honesty I needed. "Between all you do to stay busy, that's why you're still single." Stings to hear or even say, but could there be truth in it?
I do stay busy, 3 jobs, 2 schools, 1 kid, 1 house to finish... no sleep! This is my way of life & as I always say it keeps me out of trouble, but is it possible this could all be a defense mechanism? 
No one will ever hear me say That I like to stay this busy, to stay away from my child so much, but I do it to keep us going. Our lifestyle is pretty set in stone (I.e. buying house, etc) so I'm not going to have Faith suffer & change her ways just because I'm going to school. I go to school so much to try to better our lives, so that she wont have to know how hard life can be, but lately it feels like I'm running 100mph yet going nowhere. 
I dream of a better life, but I guess I always see it as a better life for Faith & I... is that bad? Is it a sign? Who knows, been on my own so long I don't even think I'd know what to do if I had someone else around.